Dear blog,
It's been a really long time since I've wrote an entry. I mean AGES. But like a bad habit, I'll always come back. Today marks two months since I was driving north on I-5 with two of my bestfriends. We drove from 4:00am (even though I told Melissa to pick me up at 3:30) until we reached Portland International Airport in the wee hours of the morning. After several hugs (albeit forced), I crossed the threshold of security. Then it was me,..alone...again. It was a strange mixture of apprehension and excitement. Prior to this pivotal moment, I had built a life of comfort. For the first time in my life, I bathed in this feeling of security and comfort. The past year and half, I was working at a job that not only paid the bills but supplied me with organic groceries and fancy-ish shampoo. Most importantly, it gave me the opportunity to enjoy a tidy flat with all the amenities with my dearest friend Amanda. I never fretted about paying a bill nor not having a chunk to save. I never experienced that growing up or in my early-twenties. It was a novel yet welcoming feeling. That feeling is what made leaving different this time. Leaving, as all of you know, isn't a foreign concept to me but cashing in comfort for the unknown was. The first month of being here, I enjoyed the sun's rays and spent time exploring Wellington. I enjoyed the freedom of sleeping in and aimlessly walking around the streets. I strolled the seaside with Michael often and walked through native New Zealand bush (that's what they call forest areas). I felt like a kid experiencing things for the first time like wild penguins near the rocks of Greta Point of the stingrays in the city centre lagoon. But of course, this came at a price. The price was not knowing when/where my next source of income would come and the pressure of the interviews that weaved themselves throughout my weekdays. Seven. I had seven interviews in one month. I was deemed to kind-hearted to fund-raise for Unicef or too risky to hand over a permanent position to. Michael wasn't getting much luck either and I felt like I was progressively filling up with anxiety as the days passed. I couldn't help but question our decision of coming here solely because I was worried I could never possess comfort again. But month two looks a lot different. Lightening has struck and we both are working in our field of study. Don't get me wrong, things aren't perfect but now I feel like I can appreciate this country for what it really is. This country is much more collective and group orientated than in the states. If someone forgets their bus card, no issue. If you have a cold, take a day off work. There's not a clear cut parameter that we must live our lives in. Life seems to be more flexible here and the people more understanding. It's as though we aren't a number in the system or a cog in machinery. It's refreshing to say the least. Last weekend, we made it out of the city for the first time. We rented a car and drove to Waiarapa which is just over the hills from Wellington. As soon as you get out of the city, it's easy to see why films like Lord of the Rings was shot here. It's stunning and undisturbed. Everything is green and hilly but not the same as Oregon. There's no pine-trees and even though it's autumn, I'm not graced with leaves of orange and red. Things are definitely different than home in general; from earthquakes to daily diet (which consists of lots more Asian dishes).
All in all, I may not take comfort in having warm towels from the dryer or driving home in my car or using nice shampoo however I do take comfort in knowing that I'm having adventures with my partner again. Also, I'm living in a place where school shootings are unheard of...a place that isn't politically corrupt or sabotaging society and the environment around me...a place that I can respect and gain a new sense of comfort in.
