Well I love London..

Next year, I'm going to be a nanny in Switzerland. I'll get four weeks paid vacation! I can visit loads of places. I'm in the center of Europe. France and Germany are literally 30 minute train rides away from me. I get to learn a new language (German) and work a job that will be difficult but a nice transition from 4 jam packed years of college to becoming an actual teacher. Yes! Yes! Yes! I'm so excited for this. But you know me, I love London. I've dreamt about living there since I was 14. And sometimes I get a little bummed out on myself, like why didn't I try harder to get a job there for next year? I guess ever since I heard how difficult it can be to get a Visa, I panicked...I didn't want to end up jobless in the states. I guess, what I'm saying and am worried about is "Will I ever make it there?" After talking to professors and friends. I've been looking into international schools in London. They actually have job openings! It's brilliant. There's one that seems so perfect and is only 15 minutes away from the center of London! They have like 10 job openings! For me, this means, that I will love it up next year travelling and seeing new things! But while I'm there, I'm about an hour on a plane from London therefore I can visit and interview easily :) . I am going to work my ass off trying to get a position like the one fore-mention. I'll move there as a young 23 year old. It has to, has to, happen. I know plans never happen. And life isn't what we ever want it to be. But this..this has to happen. If nothing else. No husband or children. It's this. I can't let myself down.

White Blank Page

Last week, it was warm enough to do one of my all time favorite things... watch the stars. As I was laying there with one of my bestfriends in one of our favorite parks, we were talking about me leaving the country soon and all of that. I turned over to him, in all seriousness... and said. I can't see my future, it's like a blank page and that scares me. I can't picture getting married or having children. I have no idea where I'll end up or who I'll end up with. I can't see me as an old woman. Is this normal? His answer wasn't very comforting at all. His answer...I can see me getting married, having my dog, and my children. Coaching soccer. The whole sha-bang. Ever since then, this thought has been running through my mind. Why can't I see it? Does anyone else feel this way? Is it because I'm single? Is it because I'm flighty? Is it because I'm ending this chapter of my life? Or because maybe I'm not meant to even live that long. ahhhhh! my thoughts are so loud that I can't hear my mouth..

From Matilda to Ms.Honey

Today we were assigned to write a reflection piece of the steps we've taken to become the teacher we are or want to be. As I was making that drive home down HWY 99 from OSU back to my house. I contemplated this question... Where did Sarah as a teacher begin. Was it the day I volunteered in Crista's class four years ago? Or was it rooted far before that. Of course it was. It really was. I had an "aha" moment in my brain. It started to make sense. The pieces were fitting together to the puzzle that was me. Let me indulge a bit. When I was a little girl, I was always told by family members that I looked like "Matilda" or the "the little girl from Ms.Doubtfire". As I look back on younger photos of me, they're totally right (besides the haircut)..we really did look alike. What they didn't know was that I didn't really connect with Matilda because of how she looked but because of who she was. Well yes my parents were no Wormwoods but at the same time they weren't helping me with homework or even checking it for that matter. Bedtimes didn't exist..neither did bedtime stories. Dad sat home every weekend watching the tele. Every time I tried to talk about something of meaning, my mum quickly changed the subject to hair styles, celebrities, or boys. She still does...and I can't begin to tell you how disheartening that is to me. I love my parents, I really do but the academic bar wasn't set high for me. I had this innate intrinsic motivation and love for school. I LOVED school. During the summers I had total freedom but between the ages 5-8 I spent many hours reading these "read and answer" type of books. They were my favorite past time for some reason, even though those are what most kids hate and are very similar to standardized testing. I loved reading and loved the feeling of getting the correct answer. I also had my math books that I would work on throughout the summer. My parents never told me to do them, I told them to take me the store to buy them. Isn't that what every other kid did during the summer? Well..that's what I thought back then. As I grew older I was always a major player in class discussions and took everything very seriously. One thing I can honestly say is that I never took for granted my learning. Now it's 2012, I ran into one of my good friends from Highschool who I had various classes with the other night. He gave me loads of hugs and in between he kept saying how proud he was of me and that I worked the hardest in school out everyone. Maybe that is and maybe that isn't but that gave me perspective. School was and always will be my "thing". Now back to Matilda, she was like me because she had this innate drive and love of learning. However, without Ms.Honey, I wonder how Matilda would have turned out? What would of become of her? I'm no longer a little girl or the student. I am changing roles from Matilda to Ms.Honey. I can only hope that I will be as nurturing, loving, and passionate about teaching as this fictional character was. Teachers like this are

how students like me and Matilda make it. I need to give that back, it's such a strong feeling. I feel like I need to give that to somebody. Lastly, Thank you Daniel Dawber for getting me. You have no idea how happy it made me the other day when I was describing the teacher I am and you said "Like Ms.Honey" without even knowing that I wanted to be like her.