Barefoot on a summer night...

Croatia!

"Leave all your love and your loving behind, you can't carry it with you if you want to survive"
....The dog days are over.

This weekend I road tripped with Dominque and Bre to Pula, Croatia. I will remember it forever as the best euro-roadtrip that could ever exist.
We started off a bit rocky, we had to turn around about three different times before we even left vicenza. But what can you do besides laugh? So that's what we did. Unfortunately, Tammy our gps was a total bitch but she warmed up to us eventually. Once we got going on the road everything just fell into place. I absolutely love roadtrips. The feeling is euphoric for me. The perfect music blasting while singing along with friends ( in our case that would include I want you to want me, aint no mountain high enough, horchata, home, and of course the dog days are over), the plethora of snacks, the green hills, slovenian city lights, my ears popping from the rise in altitude, the passport stamps and just the overall excitement of being on a journey to some place new makes me feel really truly alive.
So...
Once we arrived in Croatia, Tammy, our gps, told us that we had to go on this one way road the opposite way which meant once again we were lost. Luckily Croatian lads that were going the right direction down the one-way in their car pulled over and actually led us the right way to this random little street which led us to our hostel. This is extremely lucky, I don't know how the hell we would have found it without them. By that time it was about midnight so we just dozed off right away in our surprisingly comfortable hostel beds. That morning we met our 3 hostel mates who are from Portugal (Gabriel, jenny, and Joanna). They made our trip everything that it was. We were initially going to just follow them to this national park in Premantura. While trying to leave the steep dirt road from our hostel, we stalled our Fiat...a lot. We couldn't even get up the hill. Gabriel came to our rescue (which he is quite good at doing) and drove us up the hill and into town so we could all exhange currency. Bre returned back to the Fiat with me and Dominque and we were off the Premantura. Premantura was beautiful. The water was so clear, I could see perfectly to the bottom as far as I could go out. It looked turquoise from a far. Croatia has unique beaches though, they are all rock and no sand. Lying around on rocks wasn't ideal but easy to get used to. We swam in the buoyant salty clear croatian water, got to know our new friends, and wondered around the national park during the day.
During the evening we all came back and got ready to check out the historic town at night. Gabriel helped us out yet again by picking us up at the bus stop by total coincidence so all six of us spent the evening together. We explored the ancient arena, I received a surprising cheeky kiss on the cheek from this NewYork guy we met on the streets. (Sarah that boy's cute - dom...where?-me...he just went in that building, go back and say hi to him) and so I did. It was a funny two minutes. After walking around for ages we found the centar with all of it's restaurants. The buildings were unique/beautiful/old and the aura of the whole city was very relaxed. I could definitely fall in love with that lifestyle. We talked,laughed and ate with our new friends, walked around even more, made it over to a little club during the night to celebrate Joanna's birthday. Finally, I topped the night off with a little late night skinny dipping. I was the only American bird brave/crazy enough to do it. And, I'm glad I did it. It was just me, warm clean croatian water, and the ambient abundant stars in the sky. It made me feel whole and connected to something more than just me...a lot more.
The next day we ended up at a beach in Pula about 10 minutes away. We found a very quite/ secluded area which was nice. As we walked back we saw some parasailers and I've always wanted to do it and so we did. I really recommend it, it's not scary at all but the feeling is freeing and the croatian sights were even more beautiful to see from that view. After our little parasailing adventure we drove home and stopped in Slovenia for some amazing pasta. Life is good.
While driving home us three girls were talking and Bre asked us where do your self in 5 years. "Well, I don't know" - me. "c'mon Sarah think about it"... The only words that could come out of my mouth with complete sincerity were "I guess with a passport full of stamps".

and I think I have a pretty good start.

Ciao!

Life...or something like it.

Where to begin?
I guess the beginning would make sense. What constitute as the beginning though? The moment I was born, the moment I knew I was going to Italy or the moment I got on the plane.

Well maybe i'll start here.
In November I found out that I was placed in Vicenza, Italy. In my mind I had all of these ideas of what it would be like and the trips I would take and the people I would be spending my time with. However, this is life. When is it ever as expected? I can tell you this much though...

The wine is cheap, chilled, and amazing. Spritz looks a lot better than it actually taste.
The food is incredible when found in the small alley way places. Donkey and horse meat is common. fish on pizza brings nothing but disgusted faces and sadly empty pockets.
Trains come when they please and are cancelled frequenty.
the shops and ristorantes are also known to be open when they please and the good ones should always be reserved for in advance. I learned that after waiting for the perfect one in Verona for an hour to open.
Gelato never gets old...ever.
Riding my bike to work alongside italian traffic has made me feel like I can officially be called a badass. The fields and the view make the ride worth it in the end.
Even just taking a train to Tuscany is worth every penny. The scenery is much more than just beautiful.
Pisa...not much to do there but seeing the tower was a little surreal even with all of the tourist.
Swimming the Mediterranean sea with all it's warmth and wind makes me feel apart of the world more.. I don't know exactly why but it just does.
Laughing, being silly, making fun of eachother, being there for eachother, and being so entirely united with the girls has made every one of these moments magical. From watching a late night movie to walking around the late night Venetian streets. There seems to never be a dull with these "beezies".
Gondola rides with a handsome and sweet gondolier who sings italian lullabies during the venetian summer night was perfect.
My letter to Juliet has yet to come through but please keep rooting for me. I still have hope...and I don't even know why.
Being lost in translation is beautiful.

The strangest part about all of this to me is how normal it all is. Taking a train to tuscany, venice, or even a bus to my own amazing italian city makes me feel at ease. It's like the whole school year was just a dream and I'm picking up from right where I left off in London last september. I felt at disequilibrium all year. There was something off. My world didn't feel normal. I didn't feel like I belonged. Traveling and experiencing the world is what I'm meant for. It's more apparent to me now more than ever.
What kind of person feels more at ease halfway across the world than her own home town?
I'm clearly a flawed woman.
I guess if you're reading this blog. I want you to know that everyday is a new day here. There's the good and the bad just like there is over there. I want you to know that there has been some things that have been hurting my soul (as pierre my gondolier would phrase it) BUT i'm carrying on and I'm living all of these precious moments to the fullest in the warm Italian sun or even in the stormy italian rain.
I've been here 3 weeks but it's felt like much longer. I'm living in the moment therefore it is extremely hard to keep up with this thing. You're probably not reading at this point anyways. I mean shit some celebrity cut their hair again and you're looking at all the hot gossip about it on E.com. If you are reading I just hope you do things for you and go out on a limb every once a while.
Ciao! x x x

The black sheep of the family

As long as I can remember, I had this feeling.
like..

There was something more for me. something great.
I don't know where it came from but it's been there all along.
I knew from the start...
I wasn't limited to the cards I was dealt.
I wasn't going to stay here.
I wasn't going to give in.
I wasn't going to be like you, her, or him.
I stand up for what I believe in even if it means feeling alone or powerless.
I'm not going to say it's okay when it isn't.
that's not me.
not then, not now, not ever.
You say I'm unrealistic. or I'm insane
If you wake up just to shut the shades. how the fuck is that okay?
We have one life.
I'm looking for the truth.
I'm looking for something real.
Mostly I'm just looking for that feeling of being alive itself.

The perks of being a wallflower.

Dear Mr.Blog,

Lately, I have been feeling disconnected from people. I don't know what it is. Maybe I've become socially awkward, inept, or my overall sense of disconnectedness from this place has transcended to the way I feel about people in it. I think it might just be a combination of it all. As every spring awakens, without a doubt, i feel this itch for change. Last year I wanted independence but now more than anything I want to feel connectedness again. I don't want small talk bullshit, I want REAL connections.

I saw a glimpse of this the other day in the strangest form but for that a moment I smiled at humanity.

As I was walking back home during a golden afternoon, I stopped on the corner of a street without even really thinking and picked up a dandelion. Of course, I closed my eyes, made a wish, and with my breath of released air the magical "fluffies" (as i like to call them) floated into the sky. This action, isn't really out of the ordinary for me but this was...
There was this guy watching me do this out of his unrolled suv window. He seemed intrigued and even happy. It wasn't some creepy person sexually preying on me. It seemed to be genuine and sincere, like this small act that I did, somehow brought beauty to his day. When I look up from closing my eyes after making my wish, is when I finally notice this voyeur. Instead of feeling maybe embaressed or bashful, I returned his sweet smile with one of my own and then his face lit up like a jackolantern on halloween. I giggled and waved. With a wave back, the light turned green, his suv was off but he couldn't help but look back at this very odd 20 year old woman who believes in magic and flowers as much as a girl 15 years her junior.

I felt more connection with this stranger for less a minute than I have with some of my closest friends this entire year.

So there was this American girl raised on promises.

but she couldn't help thinking that there was a little more to life somewhere else.

Sometimes I think Tom Petty wrote that song for me. like the other day I was walking home from school in the sunshine and that song came onto my ipod shuffle. I've been listening to Tom Petty since I was a little girl. But even now, those lyrics still bring me this warm feeling in my soul when I hear it. It was meant for me.

"She had one little promise she was gonna keep"

This is my first time blogging.
I'm not sure how to do this. do I start out just rambling, or giving you fascinating people information on all there is that makes up me? Do I start my blog entries with a line; such as dear friends or do I give this blog it's own personal identity like Penelope or Francine. I guess i'm just going to roll with it.

My name is Sarah but you can call me whatever you like, sugar. oh shit I'm confusing bar and blog, again. Right. So let's just stick with Sarah. I'm going to school to be a teacher but mostly a learner. I like flowers a lot and being outside in general. That's all the trivial nonsense I'll share for now. I'm sure you'll get to know me through my thoughts and adventures that I decide to post.

Why blog you may ask? It's because I'm obviously more fascinating than the average joe. Clearly, this is not the case. I'm pretty sure you'll be checking your dogs blog posts and updates on grandma suzannes 89th birthday in North Dakota right after reading this. But for me, I'm doing this because I want to. I want to share my travels and adventures this summer while in Europe. 39 days to go.

To go back to my earlier statement "She had one little promise she was going to keep"
This promise. it's a simple one.
it's to get out.
I had a long conversation with a close friend of mine a little while ago. In her frustration, she snapped at me. "Sarah, ever since you were little, all you wanted to do was leave". I didn't really have a come back for that because she was right.
I can't be satisfied in a stagnant job. I can't be satisfied in a stagnant place. I need change, I need growth and opportunity to learn. I need to wake up in the morning with a completely different day ahead of me.
I need passion and fulfillment.

If nothing else, this blog will let you keep up to date with how i'm keeping my promise as well as the trials that come along the way.

It is late.