White Blank Page

Last week, it was warm enough to do one of my all time favorite things... watch the stars. As I was laying there with one of my bestfriends in one of our favorite parks, we were talking about me leaving the country soon and all of that. I turned over to him, in all seriousness... and said. I can't see my future, it's like a blank page and that scares me. I can't picture getting married or having children. I have no idea where I'll end up or who I'll end up with. I can't see me as an old woman. Is this normal? His answer wasn't very comforting at all. His answer...I can see me getting married, having my dog, and my children. Coaching soccer. The whole sha-bang. Ever since then, this thought has been running through my mind. Why can't I see it? Does anyone else feel this way? Is it because I'm single? Is it because I'm flighty? Is it because I'm ending this chapter of my life? Or because maybe I'm not meant to even live that long. ahhhhh! my thoughts are so loud that I can't hear my mouth..