Re-cap of my travels on 2011:
Italy -verona,venice,lucca,rome,cinque terre, rimini beach, asiago.
Croatia-premanture, pula
UK- London, Edinburgh
Germany-Munster
U.S- Crater Lake, Reno, Santa Rosa and Napa Valley.
and in two weeks I'll be in Honolulu, HI
I think for most people any one of these places would have been enough to be happy to go to in one single year...well maybe not Reno. That place is shit. The rest are great!
Anyways I feel like my friends and family think i'm milking this travel cow too much.
But I have a theory, everybody has their things.
for some people that might be spending their money on a photography hobby or snowboarding or new x-boxes/wiis/computers/tvs etc. Or making their house look fabulous with new decor/bedding/furniture/the works. Or maybe you're a movie buff and have a collection of hundreds at home.
Whatever it may be. Those things make you happy in one way or another which I will never bash or look down upon.
However, I don't buy shit. I barely have any clothes, my laptop is 4 years old, I have the cheapest camera created. And I have a rule..don't buy things that won't be able to fit in a 50lb. I live frugally to say the least and when I travel..my souvenirs tend to be postcards and little knicknacks like coasters from bars that i've been too or tickets to museums and such.
These travels may seem extravagant but if you only knew/saw the way I was living. You would realize..that they aren't.
This is "my thing" and would rather not feel like I'm a completely self-indulgent bitch for pursuing something that makes me brighter than the sun.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Waiting on the Sun.
Yesterday I bought a couple of pumpkins to carve.
Watched one of my favorite movies (practical magic) with one of my favorite people. We've been watching that movie since we were 8. I realized then, I've always had her, always always.
I drove along river road admiring the plethora of trees that were changing in a place that has always been there for me and the routine changes of the seasons have been the markers of my life there.
I realized that this autumn would be my last one here..just like this. Going to school, seeing old friends and old roads. That's when my mind went into a million directions.
Before this, I've been doing the routine of things; wake up early in the morning, go to school, go to work, have dinner, do homework, read, and then sleep. But what's life going to look like this time next year? I know nobody knows even for their own self. This is different than most years however, I've always had my summer and then came back to school in one form or another. Well I guess perhaps I'll being going to school again next fall (but on the otherside of the desk). I keep getting e-mails saying "congratulations on starting your senior year _____ (insert an after school opportunity here). The most compelling one I've received was teach for America, the idea of the organization I find very valid and the pay even more so. I could even end up in Boston or Newyork. The most compelling part is that I could start planning for that NOW! I like planning as soon as possible, but at the same time I can be very sporatic and whimsical. I'm a weird woman. But, in the end I don't think I want to take on this job, I've worked at a low income school and it's exhausting and I don't feel that i'm adequate for the part..just yet atleast. Give me a few years to pick up some more tricks.
If you really want to know, if I had it my way I would..
first: go to germany with brigette this summer, travel for a few weeks after seeing places like prague/budapest and finally make our way to munich for oktoberfest.
second: after that adventure move up for London to be a nanny for about a year. ( reason being I think it would be nice to get to know one kid for a period of time before jumping into the sea of teaching and of course I love London)
third: Get a tefl job in Europe or Asia for a year. Travel the summer afterwards.
fourth: Find an elementary teaching job either in the east coast or europe. and travel during the summers :)
I find these ideas consuming my thoughts daily.
but what about practical magic?
or watching the river road trees change color?
Is that all over now?
Watched one of my favorite movies (practical magic) with one of my favorite people. We've been watching that movie since we were 8. I realized then, I've always had her, always always.
I drove along river road admiring the plethora of trees that were changing in a place that has always been there for me and the routine changes of the seasons have been the markers of my life there.
I realized that this autumn would be my last one here..just like this. Going to school, seeing old friends and old roads. That's when my mind went into a million directions.
Before this, I've been doing the routine of things; wake up early in the morning, go to school, go to work, have dinner, do homework, read, and then sleep. But what's life going to look like this time next year? I know nobody knows even for their own self. This is different than most years however, I've always had my summer and then came back to school in one form or another. Well I guess perhaps I'll being going to school again next fall (but on the otherside of the desk). I keep getting e-mails saying "congratulations on starting your senior year _____ (insert an after school opportunity here). The most compelling one I've received was teach for America, the idea of the organization I find very valid and the pay even more so. I could even end up in Boston or Newyork. The most compelling part is that I could start planning for that NOW! I like planning as soon as possible, but at the same time I can be very sporatic and whimsical. I'm a weird woman. But, in the end I don't think I want to take on this job, I've worked at a low income school and it's exhausting and I don't feel that i'm adequate for the part..just yet atleast. Give me a few years to pick up some more tricks.
If you really want to know, if I had it my way I would..
first: go to germany with brigette this summer, travel for a few weeks after seeing places like prague/budapest and finally make our way to munich for oktoberfest.
second: after that adventure move up for London to be a nanny for about a year. ( reason being I think it would be nice to get to know one kid for a period of time before jumping into the sea of teaching and of course I love London)
third: Get a tefl job in Europe or Asia for a year. Travel the summer afterwards.
fourth: Find an elementary teaching job either in the east coast or europe. and travel during the summers :)
I find these ideas consuming my thoughts daily.
but what about practical magic?
or watching the river road trees change color?
Is that all over now?
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Feeling fresh?
"She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly. Off the coast and I'm heading nowhere...."
"They"..the infamous they who knows all. I'm not sure who they are but i'd like to meet them. Anyways they say that smell has the strongest link to memory but I disagree. I'm currently sitting at the Beanery, my favorite little coffee house in Eugene and this song comes on. I've never heard it play in public or have listened to it in years for that matter. It instantly put this weight on my heart. It brought me back to this place, a place where I felt at home here, possibly for the last time. I sat here thinking how I feel the opposite of that. Once there was a time where I felt connected with another human being. A time of lying around in bed under the heavy dark blue comforrter, that took me months to get used to it's heat, listening to this mix of yours including this particular song. You would play it just because you knew I liked it even though you grew away from it far before you even walked into those double doors of my smoothie making teenage job. It's weird for me to think about those times because truthfully I seldom do. I grew so far past it, as if i'm a completely different person. However, ever since I got off that plane last week I've been battling this feeling of loneliness. I did it backwards, I know that now. I was young and was serious with a boy while all of my friends were single. Now, all of my friends are wrapped up in their own serious relationships, and I'm the one alone. I guess that's the proper way of doing it. Crazy first couple of years of college and then "Settling" down in the later years. On a side note: I hate that phrase "settling down", who the hell wants to settle? It means not going for what you really want which is complete bullshit. I guess i'll never be traditionalist.
A man asked me a few minutes ago if i was having fun and feeling fresh? I must not be up to date on the eugene lingo.
"They"..the infamous they who knows all. I'm not sure who they are but i'd like to meet them. Anyways they say that smell has the strongest link to memory but I disagree. I'm currently sitting at the Beanery, my favorite little coffee house in Eugene and this song comes on. I've never heard it play in public or have listened to it in years for that matter. It instantly put this weight on my heart. It brought me back to this place, a place where I felt at home here, possibly for the last time. I sat here thinking how I feel the opposite of that. Once there was a time where I felt connected with another human being. A time of lying around in bed under the heavy dark blue comforrter, that took me months to get used to it's heat, listening to this mix of yours including this particular song. You would play it just because you knew I liked it even though you grew away from it far before you even walked into those double doors of my smoothie making teenage job. It's weird for me to think about those times because truthfully I seldom do. I grew so far past it, as if i'm a completely different person. However, ever since I got off that plane last week I've been battling this feeling of loneliness. I did it backwards, I know that now. I was young and was serious with a boy while all of my friends were single. Now, all of my friends are wrapped up in their own serious relationships, and I'm the one alone. I guess that's the proper way of doing it. Crazy first couple of years of college and then "Settling" down in the later years. On a side note: I hate that phrase "settling down", who the hell wants to settle? It means not going for what you really want which is complete bullshit. I guess i'll never be traditionalist.
A man asked me a few minutes ago if i was having fun and feeling fresh? I must not be up to date on the eugene lingo.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Motes and boats and waterfalls. Alleyways and pay phone calls
Journal exert from August 30th 2011
I sit on the edge of Crater lake; a huge abyss is beneath me filled with perfectly blue rippled water. No swimmers, no boats; a completely undisturbed part of the world. As i'm trying to take it all in I hear my sis and mum say that I must get down. "Are you trying to kill yourself by doing that Sarah". I sigh, I don't feel like I'm in any danger and I can't comprehend how anyone can grasp the beauty from any other view. I still continue sitting there with my feet dangling off the edge. I wanted to feel the wind as it's intended to be felt. Powerful. Unyielding. Unapologetic. Real. Places and moments like these or anything really are constantly wasted on superficial film purposes. I want something more than that even if it meant that my family was waiting inside the rental impala for me. I could probably sit there for hours but ultimately that wasn't up to me. My mind wandered as it tends to do. I could think of only one person in the world who might just want to sit up there along with me. Maybe just maybe. I'm quite the good daydreamer but alas I come down to reality. I'm just as alone and left to be as the lake beneath my dangling feet.
I sit on the edge of Crater lake; a huge abyss is beneath me filled with perfectly blue rippled water. No swimmers, no boats; a completely undisturbed part of the world. As i'm trying to take it all in I hear my sis and mum say that I must get down. "Are you trying to kill yourself by doing that Sarah". I sigh, I don't feel like I'm in any danger and I can't comprehend how anyone can grasp the beauty from any other view. I still continue sitting there with my feet dangling off the edge. I wanted to feel the wind as it's intended to be felt. Powerful. Unyielding. Unapologetic. Real. Places and moments like these or anything really are constantly wasted on superficial film purposes. I want something more than that even if it meant that my family was waiting inside the rental impala for me. I could probably sit there for hours but ultimately that wasn't up to me. My mind wandered as it tends to do. I could think of only one person in the world who might just want to sit up there along with me. Maybe just maybe. I'm quite the good daydreamer but alas I come down to reality. I'm just as alone and left to be as the lake beneath my dangling feet.
Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun.
An exert from a journal I wrote a few days ago.
August 27th 2011
Currently, I am in London England at a park near Fulham Broadway sitting on a bench with a spectrum of noises surrounding me including the overhead plane flying past, the tube railway's train driving nearby, the children playing, and the birds gawking. It's all very relaxing. A mix of life all coming together as I sit here just watching it all. My three month Euro-journey is coming to an end ( in a long grueling 30 hr long sort of way). The tears always seem to swell up in my eyes when I think about it. I feel so much more at home here than there. I've grown past that life that I have left, it's like regressing everytime I go back to that place. When I was younger I wanted to live in London and now the electricity of that dream is circulating throughout my whole body. I cant feel it..I'm so close to it. In the span of one year I've succeeded in visiting twice. For an Eugene girl who came from quite little this is a feat that I can't cease to be proud about. Italy, Germany, here and everywhere in between brings me a special feeling of happiness. It's all a lot to fully process and I feel like I never have a chance to do so. I am ALWAYS on the move. I can't look back while I move forward. Always moving forward. Is it too much? I bought this antique-esque necklace clock the other day in Leceister Square, the man set it for the english time of course. I'll never change it though. No matter where I'm at I will always know what time it is in London.
August 27th 2011
Currently, I am in London England at a park near Fulham Broadway sitting on a bench with a spectrum of noises surrounding me including the overhead plane flying past, the tube railway's train driving nearby, the children playing, and the birds gawking. It's all very relaxing. A mix of life all coming together as I sit here just watching it all. My three month Euro-journey is coming to an end ( in a long grueling 30 hr long sort of way). The tears always seem to swell up in my eyes when I think about it. I feel so much more at home here than there. I've grown past that life that I have left, it's like regressing everytime I go back to that place. When I was younger I wanted to live in London and now the electricity of that dream is circulating throughout my whole body. I cant feel it..I'm so close to it. In the span of one year I've succeeded in visiting twice. For an Eugene girl who came from quite little this is a feat that I can't cease to be proud about. Italy, Germany, here and everywhere in between brings me a special feeling of happiness. It's all a lot to fully process and I feel like I never have a chance to do so. I am ALWAYS on the move. I can't look back while I move forward. Always moving forward. Is it too much? I bought this antique-esque necklace clock the other day in Leceister Square, the man set it for the english time of course. I'll never change it though. No matter where I'm at I will always know what time it is in London.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Forever and ever you'll stay in my heart.
And I will Love you..
During these last three months, I spent a lot of time with Michelle. My room mate who I just crack up with daily. Walking around in barely any clothes with, eating top ramen with, jumping on roman hostel beds with, drinking spritz with, having our dinner and sex nights with. I spent a plethora of glorious moments with this human.
Also the rest of my "beezy" crew. The five completely different human beings that were stuck together for the summer. We created this bond that I have loved. From dancing in the rain to crying in laughter to never actually watching a movie. I will miss them dearly once we all go our different directions in the world.
But...
The ones who I spent the most time with this summer, were my kindergartners. Typing this is even bringing me to tears. I try not to get attached to people. I've noticed in life that they come and go and to become less attached...the better. I couldn't help it though. These children have impacted my life tremendously. Together 40 hours a week for 12 weeks. How can life be okay again without my "goodmorning ms.sarah" every morning. Or having them repeat different languages to me or the mass amounts of hugs and love I get everyday. Swing dancing with them and creeping around the classroom to the inspector gaget song. Every one of them has something about them that I adore. I wish I could see them grow, I wish they could remember me forever. I know that I'll remember them forever. It's the first time in life that I felt that I had my OWN classroom. I had control of what to do and how to handle things. It taught me a lot about being a teacher. I had many moments where my patience was tested or my heart broken from the lives some of these children have to live. If I could I would take them home with me. My last day in the Kinder room is tomorrow and it doesn't feel real. Won't I see them again on Monday? I notice myself getting a little excited every sunday night to go back to this kinder room of mine but this monday I won't be going back.
The life of the traveler really does have it's downsides. Saying goodbye...Will when I ever perfect this art form?
Fuck. This is so hard.
During these last three months, I spent a lot of time with Michelle. My room mate who I just crack up with daily. Walking around in barely any clothes with, eating top ramen with, jumping on roman hostel beds with, drinking spritz with, having our dinner and sex nights with. I spent a plethora of glorious moments with this human.
Also the rest of my "beezy" crew. The five completely different human beings that were stuck together for the summer. We created this bond that I have loved. From dancing in the rain to crying in laughter to never actually watching a movie. I will miss them dearly once we all go our different directions in the world.
But...
The ones who I spent the most time with this summer, were my kindergartners. Typing this is even bringing me to tears. I try not to get attached to people. I've noticed in life that they come and go and to become less attached...the better. I couldn't help it though. These children have impacted my life tremendously. Together 40 hours a week for 12 weeks. How can life be okay again without my "goodmorning ms.sarah" every morning. Or having them repeat different languages to me or the mass amounts of hugs and love I get everyday. Swing dancing with them and creeping around the classroom to the inspector gaget song. Every one of them has something about them that I adore. I wish I could see them grow, I wish they could remember me forever. I know that I'll remember them forever. It's the first time in life that I felt that I had my OWN classroom. I had control of what to do and how to handle things. It taught me a lot about being a teacher. I had many moments where my patience was tested or my heart broken from the lives some of these children have to live. If I could I would take them home with me. My last day in the Kinder room is tomorrow and it doesn't feel real. Won't I see them again on Monday? I notice myself getting a little excited every sunday night to go back to this kinder room of mine but this monday I won't be going back.
The life of the traveler really does have it's downsides. Saying goodbye...Will when I ever perfect this art form?
Fuck. This is so hard.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
You'll never reach the end of the road while you're travelling with me...
I've been here for over two months. Time has been a weird thing. On one hand I feel like I've been living this life forever and there's nothing to come back to but on the other hand I feel like I've just arrived and summer just started. It's bittersweet for me. I love Italy. I love the culture where the piazzas are crowded and there's more wine than water. I love the people and how they are themselves; just walking around topless on the beaches or saying it like it is to whoever. Nothings reserved with them. It's like a breath of fresh air to me. Some people I travel with take offense or are disgusted in these ways but i like it. Today, I went to Lake Garda and kayaked. It was amazing, I loved it. Kayaking was soothing but a work out too. The lake was warm and the sights were beautiful. We were lucky enough to kayak through part of this castle. There were swans around which just added to the whole thing, it was like some sort of fairytale. The whole thing was very picturesque. At that moment, I thought about it all. The whole summer and everything that I've done. Hiking hours in Cinque terre, parasailing in Croatia, Writing to Juliet, making wishes in the Trevi, running on the shore of the beach, looking at the vicenza stars, playing cards in the piazza, gondola rides in venice, kayaking, endless gelato. How I'm going to miss all of these moments and this new adopted lifestyle. I'm not ready to go back to it...to Oregon. I have yet to be "homesick" which is also bittersweet. Mostly..sweet. This is just more confirmation that I can do it. I can move after I graduate this year. I'm strong enough for this without wanting to be back. All of my friends are moving on with their lives in different ways than I am which is what it is. It's my time for me too but I know it won't, can't, and will never be the way most of my friends choose. I hope it's not seen as selfish or completely nuts. I want to live in so many places. I really really do. Even thinking about signing up for a two year contract freaks me out, that may just be too long at my age. Not too long to be away from "home" ( or whatever you want to call it)..but because there's so many places to live and over one year in one place is a little long. We will see what happens with that. But as this blog is titled...I hold that as true as I can with the funds I currently have. On August 19th after my Italy adventure is finally up, I'm going back to Munster to visit my british mates for a few days and then up to Edinburgh for fringe and London for fun with my friend Nina. I can't wait to see this places again. Travelling with Nina will surely be great too, I feel like we're on the same page with our ideas on the whole thing and have a similar travel outlook as well. Lastly, before that plane takes me back to Oregon. I get to go to Newyork, Boston, and Capecod with my family. This is a dream come true to me. I've always talked to my dad about Boston. I used to wear boston gear when I was a toddler. I grew up with my dad staying up late to watch the redsox. Now at the age of 21 (perfect) I'll be there with him as well as my sister and mum. Everything seems perfect. There's just this one thing...but isn't there always? Oh blogspot, One day I will try to treat you better than a stand by boyfriend but there are places to see. Oh there are places to see..
Ciao! x x x
Ciao! x x x
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